Friendships That Stand the Test of Time: Closer Than Family

Tonight I watched Grey’s Anatomy episode 15 of Season 2. In this episode there’s several stories going on of course, but what caught my attention was the story of an elderly woman, Grace, who was a DNR (DO NOT RESUSCITATE) patient that “Dr. Meredith Grey” accidentally intubates. Almost instantly the patient’s best friends are there and witnesses the act. The patient’s three closest friends get involved immediately and express the patient’s wishes since she was incoherent. They wouldn’t leave and fought for what they felt were her last wishes, and stayed by her side until they were seen through, and the episode ends as they all say goodbye and witness their dear friend experiencing the peace that can only come from the next life!

While, I know this is just a silly tv series on Netflix, it had a great effect on me tonight! As my eyes filled with tears, I started to reflect on my closest friends, the love and relentless friendship the scene reminded me of, and further, the depth of the incredible women, God has placed in my life to love me “closer than a sibling or even spouse,” so to speak.

Being completely candid and honest, leading up to last week’s scan, I truly was anticipating the cancer had come back, and what that would mean for me, and my loved ones. I would be lying if I said the idea of, “not telling anyone it was back,” didn’t cross my mind. I wasn’t sure what the “best” way to deal with “the tough news” was… ultimately the scans came back showing I was completely still cancer-free! To God be the glory!🙌

But, after watching this episode, of course I immediately put myself in the dying character’s shoes, and thought about all the incredible women that are by my side on the daily as my true friends, that are the closest to me!

It made me think of the book of Proverbs, from the Bible! Back in the year of 2022, my husband and I studied the book of Proverbs, (for those that don’t know, it’s considered the book of “wisdom”) and BOYYY did we “learn” lots that year(the year I got the terminal diagnosis)!🤯

Immediately, Proverbs 18:24, came to mind! The verse teaches, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, / but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

This proverb turned everything I had been taught upside down when it came to relationship dynamics! We are told in our western culture that “blood is thicker than water,” and so when I read this proverb, I’m left a bit stunned at the biblical fact that, there are ways that a “friend” can have a closer connection than a “sibling.”

I dove deeper and read other translations and saw that my favorite the “ESV BIBLE” translates the last half of the verse the same, but the first line of the proverb changes this way: “A man of many companions may come to ruin.” I found that in just about every translation I read, the idea of surrounding oneself with many “friends” was the main issue to one’s demise. So with my small brain, I gathered that the number of people around you, does not equal a fruitful group of friends. I even thought about social media and how on my Facebook, it says a have nearly 5000 “FRIENDS”! In the era of social media, we are practically tricked into thinking the definition of friendship is the number of people around you or rather the people who want to know what you are up to..but, Biblically here in Proverbs, we are reminded that there are few true friends.

Remember, even the most connected can be lonely, think of celebrities!

I thought it was so neat that no matter which translation I read, the second portion read the same, “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” I’m sure by now, you are feeling the same as I, the concept of “friendship,” is a strong one in the book of Proverbs, and it’s not just this verse, but the word “friend” is mentioned lots of times in the the rest of Proverbs.

“Wisdom” is called a friend (7:4), a friend loves at all times (17:17), a poor man is deserted by his friend (19:4), everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts (19:6), a person with gracious speech has the king as his friend (22:11), faithful are the wounds of a friend (27:6), the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel (27:9), and do not forsake your friend and father’s friend (27:10).

These verses cleared up for me the two types of “friends” we can have and also be to others! The kind that is your friend as long as you have something to offer, and the kind that is your friend purely from divine love and friendship. Proverbs 18:24 shines a light on these two types of friends. You can have as many surface level friends of the first type as you want, but still feel empty; however, even just one friend of the second type leaves you feeling full! This is what tonight’s episode of Grey’s anatomy reminded me! They did a great job of showing the relentless pursuit of a friend that loves closer than a relative!

In other words, the dying patient had friends that she could count on. Her friends were steadfast; they were in the hospital there for her even more so than her daughter. A bond rooted in blood is one of the strongest relationships we are taught to cherish. So I’m reminded in great peace that, a friend who sticks closer than that bond, is a special friend, sent directly from Christ!

Bible example:
David and Jonathan are a great example of this type of bond! They became fast friends following the battle in which David killed Goliath(remember the story of the little guy defeating the giant warrior with just a pebble and faith?!) Despite all the struggles they faced, they stayed faithful to each other as besties and protected one another from harm. Jonathan even risked his life interceding for David against King Saul, who sought to kill David. After Jonathan passed, David wrote a letter for him that read: “Jonathan lies slain on your heights. / I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; / you were very dear to me” (2 Samuel 1:25–26). It’s said by scholars that their friendship was stronger than David’s relationship with any of his actual brothers.

So what’s the point of all this you might ask?!

The point is gratitude and awareness! Being aware of gratitude of the cross, and gratitude of God seeing me in my terminal illness, long before I ever became ill, and placing women in my path that would forge unbreakable bonds with me, and would listen to my heart and my deepest desires, and make it their mission to hold down the fort and ensure my wishes are met, when my time comes to leave this world and go on to the next one!
Thank you to each of the women that truly get me, that love me inspite of my lack of performance, and truly have my back in prayer! I love you all so much!